5 Hal Berikut ini Akan Membuat kamu Semakin Salah Paham dan Membuat Pertengkaran Tak Berkesudahan

5 Hal Berikut ini Akan Membuat kamu Semakin Salah Paham dan Membuat Pertengkaran Tak Berkesudahan

Pertengkaran memang bumbu dalam suatu hubungan. Ada pula yang bilang jika pertengkaran dapat memperkuat hubungan dan mengenal si doi. Tapi, pertengkaran juga bisa menjadi malapetaka loh, jika tidak diatasi dengan baik. Bukannya malah membuat chemistry semakin kuat tapi malah perpisahan yang akan kamu dapat. Sementara itu, penyebab malapetaka itu tidak jauh dari kesalahpahaman baru yang dibangun olehmu atau dia. Kesalahpahaman yang kadang tidak disengaja ini mungkin disadari tapi terlalu dianggap sepele, kesalahpahaman yang terangkum di bawah ini, yuk simak. 

5 Hal Berikut ini Akan Membuat kamu Semakin Salah Paham


5 Hal Berikut ini Akan Membuat kamu Semakin Salah Paham


1. Berharap pasangan lebih dewasa namun kalian sendiri masih kekanak-kanakan.


Ketika ada sesuatu yang terjadi, misal saja berdebat atau masalah apapun. Dalam diri k ita sudah ada bayangan bagaimana kita seharusnya merespon dan menanggapinya. 

Misal saja kamu sakit,  dalam pikiran kamu seharusnya si doi datang dan menemani kamu, padahal sidoi tidak bisa datang karena ada acara atau alasan lain. Contoh yang lain, Ketika kamu cerita, kamu mesti berharap tanggapan sidoi luar biasa menunjukan jika dia itu sangat peduli sama kamu. Padahhal tidak ada hubungan antara respon dan kepedulian. 

Sering kali kita berpikir jika sidoi tidak sesuai seperti yang kamu mau, berarti dia ngak cinta dan sayang.Kembali lagi, kita lihat kammu dan dia punya cara berbeda dalam menunjukan reaksi di keadaan apapun. 


2. Respon yang terlalu berlebihan padaha; itu terlalu sepele untuk diributkan.


Terkadang reaksi pertama kita bukan seharusnya reaksi yang kita berikan. Misal saha masalah si doi lupa menaruh cincin couple kalian, seharusnya respon yang pertama adalah " iya? kenapa bisa ?' tapi sering kali respon kita sangat berlebihan, seperti " tuh kan hilang, itu tu barang berharga sayang!"

Karena ketika ada sesuatu yang buruk terjadi, respon yang kamu atau dia inginkan adalah comfort, misal saja seperti bertanya bagaimana bisa, lalu gimana. Jika respon kita negatf, kamu dan dia pasti merasa ragu karena tahu respon pertama kita tidak baik dan kadang lagsung marah tanpa tau kenapa. Belajar mendengar dan memberi kesempatan sebelum tahu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. 


3. Saat masalah datang, Malah saling diam. 


Ketika kamu berdebat entah karena kamu atau dia yang memulai, kalian pasti memberikan silent treatment pada pasangan kalian. Misal kamu salah terus si dia marah dan ngomel panjang lebar, kamu diam karena merasa percuma dan merasa diam lebih baik dari pada berbiacara dan di balas lagi. Ada juga yang bilang jika lebih baik diam ketika berdebat.  You've got the wrong idea about this one.

Kamu sudah sering kan diam setiap kali debat. Apa berapa menit kemudian dia langsung baik dan bersikap biasa ? ya si dia mungkin diam dan tidak berbiacara lagi, tapi kamu cuma membuat si dia menahan emosi dan berfikir " oh ternyata kamu gini orangnya " 

 Misal saha dia berpikir kamu egois, tapi karena kamu tidak menjelaskan kamu cuma membiarkan sidia  berpikir kamu egois. Kamu berhutang dan msalah sekecil apapun harus dibicarakan. Akan tetapi jika kamu diam itu hanya akan menambah masalah untuk diri kamu sendiri, jika kamu tidak berbiacara , bagaimana dia bisa tahu ??

4. Tidak bisa menahan emosi dan menghadapi masalah dengan marah yang berlebihan


Ketika kalian membuat masalah dan salah satu dari kalian tahu kemudian marah besar, satu yang pasti ada dalam benak kalian saat kalian merah adalah bagaimana caranya biar kamu nggak kelihatan salah banget, atau bagaimana caranya biar dia berhenti.

 indeed this is so childish, Cara yang paling ampuh adalah dengan membahas kesalahan kalian yang pernah dia buat , pastinya walaupun nggak nyambung sama masalah yang lagi dibahas

Misal saja bikin membuat dia menunggu beberapa jam, dia lalu kesal dan kamu menjadi kesal juga dan membahas kalau dia pernah terlambat beberapa bulan lalu. Padahal sudah jelas kan, tidak ada hubungannya kesalahan kamu saat ini dan kesalahan dia beberapa bulan lalu. 

Jika nggk cukup satu kesalah dan dia belum berhenti marah,  here's another most suvvessfull trick all thr time, " ungkapkan semua kesalahan dia sampai tidak bisa melawan"  instead of doing that why you just accept thr punishment that we deserved ?

Dari pada membela diri dan mencari kesalahan pasangan kita, kenapa sih kita nggak menerima sala dan meminta maaf saja ? kenapa bukan berfikir " duh dia marah, berarti tidak boleh gitu lagi untuk kedua kalinya" atau gini "  kenapa sih aku lakuin ini, padahal kan dia nggak suka "

5. Tidak mencari sumber masalah tapi malah melabeli pasangan kalian dengan yang lain lain


Kita lebih sering bilang "  kamu egois " ,  semudah itu kalian labelling satu sama lain karena apa yang dia lakukan sekali, seharusnya yang kta salahkan itu tindakannya, bukan orangnya.

Kesalahan yang dia lakukan sekali tidak menjadikan dia seperti yang kamu tuduhkan. Semua orang melakukan kesalahan dalam hal apapun. Jika dia terus melakukan kesalah yang sama dan tidak berubah, baru kamu menganggap dia seperti yang kamu fikirkan.

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